The church does not believe that “Love is love.“
In fact, the church has an entire article written about how love is conditional, and earned; a topic we will discuss later on in this blog.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2003/02/divine-love?lang=eng
But us?
We believe that love is love.
Just because love might look or show up differently in ways that one might show their own love, does NOT mean that the love is not real.
There are many kinds of love;
Familial.
Friendship.
Lovers.
Sexual.
But placing a tag on what counts as love and what doesn’t? That’s where the issues lie.
People are born the way they are born; created the way they were created. Love the way they love.
Why do we put a price tag on that?
How do we try to separate out a person from a way WE believe that they should be living differently? A way THEY were born to live?
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/same-sex-attraction?lang=eng
Who are we to announce what type of love is of God and what isn’t?
Wasn’t it God who created all animals and humans and deemed them “good?”
To say that one type of love may marry in the temple and be sealed to their loved ones forever, but that another is banned from entering altogether?
With rhetoric that internally creates the harmful ideas which tell people that “because you love differently than I, you’ll go through shock therapy to fix it because we have made you believe that something is very inherently and deeply wrong with the way you love.”
https://mormonr.org/qnas/parwO/gay_conversion_therapy_and_byu
That “loving the same gender in that way is a sin,” that it is a “mortal frailty” that needs to be fixed…
https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1348&context=irp
A type of love where the church had gay-conversion therapy camps, whose belief was that homosexuality “is a changeable condition.”
https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1349&context=irp
https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=57344806&itype=cmsid
Who was it that created all the animals of the earth?
That created humans?
And saw that all of it was “good?”
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot/gen/1?lang=eng
Homosexual behavior has been discovered by scientists and depicted in nature in PLENTY of animal, fish and other species.
When you have the time, take a look at the website for “Rainbow Wool,” for example.
If all animals and humans in nature were created by God, and homosexuality is not condemned in animals…
Why are we condemning other living beings who were also created by God?
Wasn’t it He that made them, too?
We once heard someone close to me claim that homosexuality was wrong in Humans because “we are of a higher intelligence and know better.”
That argument was like a stake through our hearts.
This person was inherently telling us that because humans have the ability to drive cars, create cities, and pay bills,
That they are not supposed to engage in homosexuality because we are “too advanced” for that.
What does that say about people who DO live true to themselves as a part of the lgbtq+ community?
Are we saying they are of a people of “lesser intelligence?” Because they aren’t able to “resist the temptation of homosexual urges?”
What a hateful way to think.
And as a bisexual woman married to a man, I couldn’t have been more offended at the implication.
Once, when my mother-in-law found out that I, the wife, is bisexual;
She made the statement to my husband over the phone that we were not to open up our marriage.
We were INFURIATED.
Not because we were ever planning on opening our marriage;
But because it is no-one’s place to tell another person how to love or what their love should look like.
To insert yourself into another person’s marriage and make claims of what it can and can’t be.
The misunderstanding of lgbtq+ individuals and misinformation/rhetoric the church preaches absolutely contributed to the assumptions of my mother in law.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/same-sex-attraction?lang=eng
Many straight people believe that bisexuals NEED both a man and woman to be fulfilled.
While that can be true for some, it is not true for all.
My mother in law had incorrectly assumed that just because her son’s wife is bisexual; that meant they were going to open their marriage and start sleeping around all of a sudden.
What an insane thing to insert yourself into; to tell someone how they can and cannot live in regards to their sexuality.
If people choose to do so, that is between those involved and no one else has a say in it.
And if they choose to remain with a closed marriage, the same exists – which is how it was with us.
–
Love is love.
We as humans were created to love.
As was nature.
In different formats, styles and fonts.
Why are we trying to RESTRICT love??
And because a person lives differently than the way a church dictates; they are prevented from partaking in the ordinances needed for them to get into heaven? To be with their loved ones forever?
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/mormon-church-repeals-baptism-ban-for-children-of-gay-parents
Imagine if it was the other way around.
Straight people cannot participate in ordinances if they sleep together.
Straight people cannot be baptized unless their children renounce the way their parents love.
Straight people cannot love one another or they lose their ability to participate in certain aspects and levels of the church.
If you’re straight, you cannot be sealed and live with your family forever.
Do you see how heartbreaking and cruel that is to tell a person, who merely just wants someone to LOVE?
We can just hear our readers telling us “but it’s to reproduce children and bring spirits into the mortal realm! That’s why only straight love is deemed appropriate and within marriage!”
To that we say –
That is QUITE the justification for hate and homophobia.
Many straight couples cannot conceive children.
Many straight couples foster or adopt.
Many straight individuals don’t even find a person to marry in their lifetime and never get the chance to even try having children.
And if your response to that is, “they will have the chance in the afterlife! God promises they’ll all have a chance!”
Our response is –
You’re telling LGBTQ+ individuals to forgo a life of love their entire life…
To never be able to marry a person they love and create a family with that person; not in the way straight people can without facing religious or spiritual punishment such as a repentance process.
To be told to get divorced from the love of your life and not be with them anymore in order to be baptized.
To live a life of celibacy; to never know what it feels like to be loved so intimately by a person we are so deeply attracted to and in love with because of their gender…
Or to live a life of falseness; being touched by a person you are not inherently attracted to, just to fulfilled the church’s laws.
To never marry because marrying the opposite gender would be unfair to that gender, but also unfair to themself because they are not truly attracted to them in that way.
To wait until DEATH to have the same blessings that their straight counterparts get to enjoy while in life? Still alive? Still living?
Do we not understand the gravity or severity of how harsh and hurtful this rhetoric is to members of the lgbtq+ community?
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/same-sex-attraction?lang=eng
And trying to state that it’s about chastity, and that “well straight people who have sex outside of marriage also have to repent!”
Is NOT the same.
Straight people who have sex outside of marriage can repent, get married, grow their family and be sealed in the temple without loss of participation privileges in the church.
Members of the lgbtq+ community who have sex outside of marriage in a homosexual way have to repent; but that is where it stops.
They cannot marry the person.
They cannot be sealed to them.
They cannot have that family lifestyle with them.
Not without losing participation privileges in the church.
What a privileged life it is to be straight.
To NEVER have to wonder if choosing love in the way you were born to love will result in your damnation. In being cut off from God, from all of your loved ones.
How horrific it is to believe that homosexuality is nothing but mortal “lust,” and that the love they feel is a human frailty.
Try telling that to the countless lgbtq+ families who have been together for 10+ years and adopted countless children; who have created entire families and lived together, just the way you do!
Does that just sound like “lust” to you?
Once, my mother told me straight up that “The church is not homophobic.”
My jaw DROPPED to the ground.
What it must be like to be SO deeply embedded into a religion, that you don’t even recognize or realize the hurt and the unfairness that is right in front of you.
To be a part of a church that…
– has prevented baptism for gay individuals.
– once considered “homosexual actions” to be “apostasy.”
– where gays STILL cannot be married by the bishop, or sealed in the temple.
– LITERALLY claims that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.”
To speak from a place of so much privilege, that you don’t even realize that you’re asking homosexual individuals to forgo the blessings of a marriage and family YOU so deeply enjoy?
To tell the gays that they’ll “get the chance in heaven” to have what you have? That they’ll just have to struggle with it their entire mortal lives?
While gays are sobbing, completely broken down, exiled from the temple, and committing suicide because of how they were born to love?
And yet a church member can sit there and watch ALL of that; and still claim that “The church is NOT homophobic.”
I don’t think a statement has ever been more hurtful and cruel to me in my entire life.
And I think about it often.
My sister once said to us, after agreeing that the church is NOT homophobic, that “they contribute to many lgbtq+ organizations!”
To us, this is like stating “here, we will make sure you are fed and fill with scraps from the table! That you don’t go hungry! Oh, but no…you can’t actually SIT up here at the table with us and enjoy the feast first-hand.”
To claim to love lgbtq+ brothers and sisters while at the same time, not permit them the same privileges of straight people, is contradictory and hypocritical.
–
If you’re sitting here, thinking,
“The church doesn’t believe being gay is a sin; just if you act on it and break the law of chastity just like with straight people!”
“The church does contribute to a lot of lgbtq+ organizations to show their love for those in the church who are lgbtq+!”
“The church is NOT homophobic!”
“It’s about sexual purity, not being gay!”
Then tell me.
• Today, can a gay couple who slept together repent, and then get married in the way straight couples can?
• Today, can gay couples be sealed for all time and eternity in the temples?
• Today, can a gay couple who is married attend the temple and participate in ordinances the way a straight married couple can?
I hate to break it to you:
But the Mormon church?
It IS homophobic.
And it’ll only stop being homophobic if lgbtq+ members are given the same rights as straight members.
All the same access to all the same blessings.
The church isn’t homophobic?
Okay, then I will repeat this yet AGAIN.
Can a gay couple who slept together outside of marriage repent, and then get married and sealed in the temple the way a straight couple who slept together outside of marriage can?
No.
No, they can’t.
Why?
Homophobia.
Disguised by “godly direction.”
And to date claim that the church is NOT homophobic??
Well damn.
The church REALLY has it’s brainwashing claws sunk into you;
DEEP.
–
Imagine shaming someone for leaving the church –
because they want everyone to be able to experience love, safety and equality; to allow everyone to have a seat at the table.
