The Mormon church is exceptionally good at one thing –
Keeping an IRON-CLAD Grip on it’s members.
Making it as difficult to leave the church as they possibly can.
How often have you heard the following phrase?
https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2019/07/02/commentary-why-cant-ex/
“They can leave the church, but they can’t leave it alone.”
Basically stating that ex members can’t seem to stop talking about the church, even when they leave it; even when their records are removed.
But the irony in this phrase?
It seems as though it’s the CHURCH, who cannot seem to leave ex-members alone.
https://tech.churchofjesuschrist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=29780
In many religions, one can simply stop attending church.
That’s it.
They just stop going.
There’s no legal proceedings to stop going.
No paperwork.
They just…
Stop going.
At least, from my knowledge.
But for the Mormon church, and based on personal, first-handed experience;
if you stop going;
They still hold onto a BIG record of you.
Your home address, contact info, records of ordinances, a list of all the members of your family; all your personal information.
And you get added to a list – the “inactive members” list.
A list from which I have personally seen be examined during leadership meetings,
A list where active members are assigned to stop by and “visit” the less active to bring them back.
People try to leave;
But the record allows the church to track them down if they do.
One may stop calling themselves the title of “Mormon.”
But to the church;
You still belong to them.
And it takes a legal process of record removal for them to release their grasp on you.
And even then, sometimes it doesn’t work.
https://tech.churchofjesuschrist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=29780
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1tlvsgi/i_respectfully_resigned_and_asked_for_no_local/
My husband and I got tired of LDS missionaries who came knocking on our door all of a sudden after we left the church.
We felt as though even though we had physically left;
There remained an invisible string that still connected us to the church.
One that felt like the strings of a puppet master.
A string that needed to be cut.
Severed for good.
And so we did just that.
We applied to officially and legally remove our records from the church.
Scrub our names from the database so they would stop hunting us down.
We found Quitmormon; a site created to assist ex-Mormon members with removing their information from church records.
It’s funny that this is how difficult it is to cut ties from the church;
to get them to leave you alone;
Someone had to make an entire website to assist those who desired to leave to legally make that petition –
All because of the wide-spread difficulty, headaches and issues that come with leaving the church.
I mean after all;
The church tries to get people to go through the active-living bishop in the ward to have their records removed;
To try to talk them down; talk them out of it.
Prevent them from leaving.
https://tech.churchofjesuschrist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22433
I’d take getting a notarized letter legally signed and submitted to the church over having to debate with a bishop about why we want to leave ANY day.
https://tech.churchofjesuschrist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22433
The letter through Quitmormon.org requires a notarized signature to be deemed official by the church.
And once submitted to the church, it is a legal document that demand the religion erase all records of its petitioning members.
And that’s what we did.
Got our notarized letters and sent them straight to the church.
We had a great bishop at the time;
One who actually HELPED us remove our records, instead of fighting against us on it.
He reached out to us once he received word of our record removal request.
We figured he would.
And we didn’t have to respond to him if we didn’t want to, since we went through Quitmormon.org
But…we chose to respond.
We felt respected by him; like he genuinely had respect for our decision. He made the experience a positive one. A peaceful one.
However, it was odd.
The bishop confirmed that my, the wife’s, records had indeed been removed as requested; all ordinances null and void.
But, my husband; who had sent in his request at the exact same time as mine;
No request for record removal was found.
My husband was furious.
He had to re-do the process all over again; re-submit the paperwork.
And to this day, we are still unsure if his records are gone.
Although, neither one of us has access to an LDS account anymore, nor the LDS tools/members app.
We like to hope they actually scrubbed our records and cut us off as we requested.
But with this church; one never knows.
After all, on our missions we had the good ole “area book planner.”
A book in which we documented EVERY interaction with EVERY person we encountered that deemed even slightly interested in the church;
Even if they were just trying to be nice.
Records of people; their names, addresses, family members
So we could track them down
Keep probing them about the church
For years to come.
https://areabook.joshmoody.org/
It’s true, members do not like to leave people alone about the church.
Missionaries, members knocking on your door, home visits that they call “ministering” when it really feels like harassment more often than not, etc.
And the church encourages this “missionary work.”
The church calls it “missionary work.”
We call it “refusing to accept people’s choices and differing belief systems because they believe their religion is the only true one and trumps over every one else’s in the long run.”
Disrespectful.
Rude.
It’s like the Church does not understand that “no means no,” when it comes to religious autonomy.
https://tech.churchofjesuschrist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16572
Why can’t they leave people alone when they want to leave?
Because they believe that they are right; and we are wrong.
That we are misled by the world.
That they need to “bring us back into the fold.”
To worship the way they worship.
Because they believe it’s the only spiritual truth in the world.
How close-minded.
How rude.
They feel it a sacred duty.
To “bring us back.”
But no, means no.
Period.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2004/02/i-wont-give-up-on-them?lang=eng
So it’s funny how the church approves of door knocking, “ministering,” holding records of everyone’s person information…
Doesn’t leave people alone.
And yet, demonizes the way ex-members “can’t leave it alone” when they speak out against these practices.
The hypocrisy, once again.
Very evident.
It’s extremely unfair to criticize those who have left the church and how much they talk about their experiences openly…
When the church won’t leave US alone…
Sending out missionaries all over the world to recruit as many people as they can.
It’s okay when the church does it;
When they knock on doors
Show up unannounced
Bombard you with texts and calls
Hold tight to your personal information.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/tools/church-ministering-program?lang=eng
But it’s not okay when ex-members share their stories of leaving online – when they “don’t leave it alone.”
We don’t know any ex-members, personally, who would want to return to a religion that proclaims love but makes those who “love differently” (lgbtq+) stand outside a temple while their loved ones are inside.
But yet, they try to recruit us into these boxes; these limitations.
But the ex-members are the enemy when they refused to exist in the boundaries the church tries to impose on them.
–
If you find yourself saying,
“But I don’t go out and knock on peoples doors as a member! I respect their space!”
“I don’t try to force people to come back to church with me!”
“I don’t think it’s bad that ex-members left and want to share their story and their side of things!”
Then tell me.
• Today, does the church still do “ministering assignments” to both members and “less-active” members? And ask for a report on how those people are doing after you check on them?
• Today, are there still thousands of comments on ex-Mormon influencer posts and pages that criticize the ex-members for their experiences leaving the church?
• Today, does the church still affirm that it is the ONLY true religion to exist on the face of the earth? And send missionaries out to convert the world?
• Today, have the church leaders in general conference stopped preaching about praying for those who have left the church to return to the fold?
• Today, are less-active members still discussed in ward counsel meetings, discussing how to reach out to them and bring them back to church?
You may be very progressive in the mindset of allowing people their freedom to practice personal spiritual autonomy.
However;
The church still teaches its members that it is the only true church.
That people need to be brought back into the church.
The expectation of seeking out the less-active,
Of bring them back or into the religion?
Still remains today.
The LDS church does not respect personal spiritual autonomy.
–
Imaging shaming someone for leaving the church –
Because they feel suffocated, chained up, and stuck by the tight grip the church tries to keep on them?
